I’ve read all experiences are lessons and if you don’t get the lesson similar experiences with growing intensity will continue until you get it. Happy to say I got it! I narrowed it down to the first time I allowed myself to settle in a relationship. It was with the same guy I also began replicating the pattern of “not enough.” Time and time again I would meet a guy and at some point, usually not far from the beginning, I intuitively knew this isn’t the perfect love for me, but I continued on and tried to make it fit.
By not honoring my initial feelings of do not go any further with this guy, I created layers of disappointment and lowered my self esteem.
Thank you to the last of the bad boyfriends! Instead of looking at him as a complete monster, I’m going to instead look at him as the cornerstone and send gratitude.